What I think and what I feel often do
not coincide. Sometimes I really want something very much but at the
same time know that it is not good for me. Sometimes I just want to do
what I want to do and yet I am held back because I am told that such
behavior is wrong and harmful. If only I could silence that nagging
voice so I can be free to do what I want.
What I have been taught is right and
proper can be an dreadfully heavy burden upon me. How can I really
pursue my every desire and still act in the way I am expected? Better
yet, how can I lighten my daily burden so I can run free in the wind and
not have to carry my responsibilities and obligations on my back like a
laden down work horse?
The desires of the heart can indeed make
even the most lightest of burdens feel like the heaviest of sacks. When
we open ourselves up to a divided heart, we begin to experience divided
loyalties and divided attention. Long ago we have been taught that a
house divided against itself cannot stand. When the heart reaches out
in one direction and the obligations of one’s life rigidly require one
to move in another direction, this is the source of all kinds of mental
and emotional anguish, and often is the source of depression.
Nature is indeed as profound as it is
mysterious. We see physical law state that the greater the load the
heavier it becomes. As this is true in the world, so is it true within
us. When head and heart move in opposite directions, the open space
between them becomes a heavy void. The weight of the void is what holds
one down in the depths of despair, confusion and in a state of being
Only when one merges head and heart and
acts as a single, indivisible whole can the void close. Head and heart
when united act together as wings enabling one to fly to the highest
heights, feeling no weight whatsoever. Yet, one cannot fly on one wing;
one cannot soar without balance, harmony and graceful finesse.
I want so much that I cannot have. I
have so many obligations and responsibilities; if only I could be free
of the burden, so can I lighten up to pursue my hearts desire. This
mentality is what leads to depression. Depression is poison to the
soul. Depression weighs one down ever more so heavy than one’s
obligations and responsibilities.
The only way to fight depression is to
face its cause and tackle it head on. Only in accomplishment is there
victory. Facing depression is a very hard but doable task. Yet, one
must be willing to face one’s inner conflicts and then work on a
practical and responsible plan how to address the issues discovered and
deal with them with appropriate loving care.
One word of warning here. When one
focuses only on what one wants instead of what one needs, one will never
be able to overcome anything. We ourselves are our own worst enemies.
We lie to ourselves more than anyone else does. Addressing and solving
depression does not entail hurting others, on the contrary, it has
nothing to do with others; depression has only to do with ourselves and
our choices in life.
To solve depression simply requires one
to embrace what is instead of pursuing what is not. Long ago it was
said, if you cannot be with the one you love, then love the one you are
One can overcome depression by
addressing it, not avoiding it. One must delve deep into the core of
one’s being and find the true reason why one does not feel fulfilled.
One must be ever so cautious not to settle for surface excuses and
placing the blame on others.
All too often we blame something
superficial for being the source of our problems, when in fact it is no
such thing. Often, we place the blame on someone or something rather
than make the strenuous effort to look deeper into ourselves to discover
how our problems came about in the first place. One who blames others
instead of taking personal responsibility for one’s life and choices
will never truly recover from depression. For blame is like the wind,
it will go from place to place and still never be settled.
True, others can be a source of trouble
for us, but this is only if we allow it. When we choose not to flee and
not to tolerate, we will then remain in a place and impose change on
it. This is the key to victory and the recipe for healing depression.
Only one who accomplishes will overcome. All who just blame will
forever know nothing but pain.